relay for life

In May 2019, I found a lump in my right breast. I had missed two years of mammograms. I called my friend at my gynecologist office and she rushed me right in. That was the beginning of a 7 month battle I will never forget. I was diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative breast cancer with 3 nodes involved. I was 49 years old. The growth rate was 87% and since it was so high, the cancer needed to be removed immediately before treatment. I opted for a double mastectomy with no reconstruction. Triple negative breast cancer is treated with old school chemo drugs unaffectionately known as The Red Devil. Eight chemo treatments and 27 radiation treatments later I was considered NED-no evidence of disease.

I decided to share my journey on social media in hopes that others that had put off mammograms would understand just how important they are. My social media posts became therapy for me and it also created cheerleaders and prayer warriors, which is something we all need in the fight against cancer.

I also decided to bare my bald head. Many thought this was a symbol of a fierce fighter, however it was really because the chemo put me into menopause and it was 100 degrees outside and I couldn’t stand anything on my head. I wasn’t worried about the hair. I was worried about living. I wasn’t ready to go and I wasn’t going to give up.

Triple negative breast cancer has a high reoccurrence rate and the odds are much better than they use to be but they still aren’t the best. I have permanent residual effects from the chemo which include neuropathy, lymphedema and the inability to remember anything of any importance. And of course, every time a new ailment pops up, my mind immediately goes to a dark place.

I consider myself to be lucky and I know that may sound strange. I have been given a gift, the gift of living another day. When I was first diagnosed I kept a list of things I was thankful for. I found I had taken so many things for granted in my day to day life. Going thru this journey has been a blessing for me, it has reminded me of what is important- my family, my friends and it has also reminded me to stop trying to rush through life and just get through the day. I am much wiser with time spent and I am much wiser as to what I use my energy on.

My family support has been my rock. My husband who is a true, loving partner in every sense of the word, my daughter who stood bravely at my side, my boys who are always there for me and my mom, who went to every treatment with me.

There are certain big milestones in this journey, the first one is just getting through the treatments, the second one is coming up on Saturday, May 21, 2022- it is my 3 year cancerversary, and it is also the date of the Bradley County Relay for Life. At the three year mark there is a significant reduction in the risk the cancer will return. This is something I have been looking forward to for a long time.

I don’t believe in coincidences. I believe as we get older we discover things are never random. God puts people in the right places and at just the right time. At every turn, I found God had put people in my life to help me with this journey.

Last year, I developed a website: www.christygoza.com. With healthcare privacy laws, it is difficult for medical professionals to pass your name along to someone and with this type of cancer it is difficult to find survivors for information. This website has no affiliated or sponsored links. It is just an account of my journey, for other survivors to read and share. I have had an excellent response to the site and will continue to update it as long as there are people out there looking for information.

I have made so many friends on my journey and my journey isn’t over. I’m a member of the club now, a club I never thought I would never be a part of, at least this soon in life. I’m an advocate of mammograms/screening. I’m an advocate of living.

What is a tribe? It is a group of people that can include family, friends or people with similar likes and/or experiences. They are willing to extend grace, love and forgiveness, even when they may not agree. A tribe may be life long or it may expire. Whatever the case, they are invaluable and comforting.

At 51 years of age, I have some very special tribes. Of course I have my family, a friend group that started out as lovers of wine and downtown Cleveland and a group of ride or die friends that try to at least meet up on Friday nights for dinner.

These three tribes have kept me going for years. But something very interesting happened when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2019- my tribes grew. And it was a wonderful thing.

The Triple Negative FaceBook Support Group: This group of fabulous ladies have lifted me when I was down and kept me company in the wee hours of the morning when sleep would not come. I still enjoy going into the group to answer questions for newcomers. Breast cancer is a hard road riddled with anxiety that can be eased with information. I will never forget those that helped me and itâ€™s just the right thing to do to pay it forward. If you are having issues, whether it be physical, mental or social, I guarantee there is a Facebook support group. Find your people.

Tennessee Oncology Nurses, Cleveland, TN Office: While you may think they aren’t your tribe, I want to assure you that for 18 very longs weeks they were. Every other week I sat in the treatment room for hours observing them with cancer patients, many terminal. While they were double gloved, double masked and double clothed to protect themselves from what was being put into my veins, they shared helpful hints, careful instructions and love and kindness. They helped me ice my hands, feet and mouth during treatments and answered all the random questions I had and also tended to my precious mom that came with me. They handed out lap quilts, quilted by ladies in the community for cancer survivors, to keep us warm. The treatment room could be heavy, there is a lot going on in there. But there is also hope and it resides in the heart of each one of those special nurses. They helped me get through 18 hard weeks with love, kindness and sincerity- and that my friends, is a tribe. The day I rang the bell was the day I had to give them up to someone else that took my seat.

YMCA LiveStrong Group: I have done some crazy things in my time, but joining a fitness group while going through chemo may be at the top of the list. However, it was one of my favorite things during my journey. The YMCA LiveStrong program is for cancer survivors. The program focuses on building your strength back and is a great way to socialize with other survivors. I was the youngest in my group of approximately 15-18 survivors and the only one going through treatment at the time. This group met twice a week and we would do activities, pray together and workout. The group consisted of a wide array of people: young, old, in shape, out of shape, healthy, not so healthy. But we had one goal- to improve. I looked forward to these sessions so much. Everyone was so encouraging. And our fearless leader, Dina, was our biggest cheerleader. Everyone worked at their own pace and we helped each other. I met a very special lady in the group, Pat. After several conversations I discovered she had actually quilted the lap quilt given to me at Tennessee Oncology. A survivor herself, she loved to quilt and had found a way to give back.

While not tribes, there are a couple of organizations I am a part of that deserve an honorable mention.

The MaryEllen Locher Foundation: This is a remarkable organization that awards scholarships to children of breast cancer survivors. I have known about and attended fundraising events for the foundation for over 14 years. In 2019, I attended an annual fundraising event and was surprised with my daughter being awarded one of those scholarships. I cannot put into words how thankful and grateful my family and I were and still are for that scholarship. Cancer can take a toll physically, mentally and financially. This eased a big worry and allowed me to concentrate on recovery. My daughter, Logan, will be graduating in December 2021 from Middle Tennessee State University. We were surprised with an email recently from the director that they were awarding Logan additional scholarship money for that semester. The MaryEllen Locher Foundation touched our lives when we needed it most and for that, I am forever grateful. And for the wonderful group of friends that nominated Logan. I will always support the MaryEllen Locher Foundation’s fundraising efforts and their mission.

Bradley County Relay for Life: I can’t recall the year I got involved in Bradley County Relay For Life. It was a long, long time ago, at least 15 years. Money raised by Relay For Life funds research for the American Cancer Society. There is a committed, local group of people that literally work year round raising funds in our area. They are passionate about finding a cure for cancer. Great strides in cancer research have been made in the last few years and that needs to continue.

No matter where you are in life, you are never to old or too far gone to benefit from a tribe. And if you can’t find one, create one. Your life will be better for it.

Tag: relay for life

Living Life After the Big C

Finding Your Tribes