I cherish my friends. I think it is because I never had many in school. I mean, really good friends. I had a couple. I was always careful who I confided in and kept people at a distance in many ways. When I was younger I always felt intimidated or in competition with other girls. It has only been later in life that I learned the true blessings of friendship and how to be a good friend to others. I am so thankful to have a strong network of friends through my cancer journey.
While going through chemo for triple negative breast cancer in 2019, I had a lot of time to think about my friendships. A life changing event can really show you exactly who your friends are and who will stand by you. Here are some categories I developed just for fun one day when I was recouping (I had a lot of time on my hands).
Ride or Die Friends: They will be with you every single step of the way. If you sound disheartened on the phone, they will bust up into your house and snap you out of it in seconds. When you are too sick to get out of bed, they will stand in your kitchen and keep your mom and husband company with tears in their eyes. They text you day and night and don’t even care if you respond. They are your people, your family.
Really Good Friends: They call, they drop by from time to time. They let you know you are loved and being prayed for. They have your best interest at heart at all times. You know they will be there for you and are just a call away.
Friends: Many fall in this category. They will text you a couple of times, put you on their church prayer list and tell you they love you. And they do.
Almost Friends: They are social media friends. They respond to your posts and may even whisper a prayer for you. You don’t really know them well, but the name is familiar and you know of them.
Lost Friends: You thought they were really good friends, but they weren’t there when it mattered. It was too much for them.
Friendships can be hard and they require work. Cancer can be too much for some people. The reality of this can be extremely hurtful, especially when you are already down and out from the treatments. There will always be people you thought would be there for you that are not. It’s the reality of things. And that’s okay. That’s on them, not you. It took me a long time to come to peace with this. Actually I’m not certain I am at total peace with it, but I have vowed to not let it consume me. The bright side-it has made me a better friend.
