It is the golden benchmark in a cancer journey when your odds for recurrence decrease significantly. My five year mark is Tuesday, May 21, 2024. To be honest, I didn’t think I would be here five years later. When you are diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer you are always trying to prepare yourself for “the comeback”.
The first year I just tried to survive. The treatments, surgery and radiation were a blur. My faith was tested and strengthened significantly.
The second year I spent worrying. I found myself constantly organizing and trying to prepare my home and those around me to operate smoothly without me. I started a blog about my journey which was therapeutic. I began organizing my recipes and trying to write down the ones in my head so Logan would have them. I was on a mission that kept me busy and occupied.
The third year I spent trying to find my new normal and dealing with the lasting effects of chemo- neuropathy, lymphedema and short-term memory loss. It was at the three-year mark I realized I just might make it. I started doing more of the things I loved to do- write, cook, entertain & garden. I started making time for myself.
The fourth year I was on a quest to get healthy. To focus on what I was eating and the quality of ingredients- grass fed beef, free range chicken, locally grown produce. I began canning my own food just like my Memaw Young taught me. I built raised beds, began making tinctures from my herbs, and drying my herbs. I sought out alternative treatments for neuropathy which led me to acupuncture and meditation and eventually to 5 months of sobriety.
My sobriety…I have always loved wine. I have written blogs about wine, I have traveled and drank wine in all the best places, I love how it looks, how it smells, how it makes me forget my worries and numbs me in all the right places. And those last two thoughts are the issue. I don’t want to be numb anymore. I don’t want to forget. My sobriety is centered around two thoughts, first- your body only has so much healing power and if it is constantly healing from the alcohol, then you are depriving yourself from your healing potential. Second, I have a desire to live in the moment, to experience all the great things from life I possibly can, and I want to remember and relish the memories. I don’t want to forget about my cancer journey. I am a true believer that negative history not remembered will be repeated. So, I choose to honor and remember my cancer journey accordingly.
As a side note to my sobriety- Friday night I decided to have 1 glass of wine and broke my 5 month streak. It didn’t taste nearly as good as I remembered, I was up til 3am because I couldn’t sleep, I had terrible heartburn, I have had a two day headache and my joints are very achy and my lymphedema is flaring up. Needless to say, that glass was not worth it. However, I don’t want my friends to worry-even sober, I will still be the loud friend with the most inappropriate comments spewing out of my mouth. My lack of wine will not change my ability to say exactly what I think.
So today is five years. I am definitely not the person I was before my cancer journey began. Cancer changes you. Yes, of course there are lots of negatives. But there are some really good positives. I have met some wonderful people. Women that reached out providing answers and comfort for me when I was in need. And women I have reached out to when they needed some reassurance and someone to listen. The pink sisterhood is a real, wonderful blessing.
Two weeks ago, I had my five year check up with Dr. Tran at Tennessee Oncology. I cannot even begin to calculate how many appointments and hours I have been spent in their office. It takes special people to work in oncology and I admire and respect them all. My next appointment is in one year- and only those that have walked this walk know the absolute joy I felt in achieving that milestone.
Please remember to schedule your mammogram and remind those you love to schedule one, too. I skipped two mammograms and if I had skipped one more year, I would not be here today. I would not have made it another year. There are many different types of breast cancer, some more aggressive than others. Great strides are being made every day in research and development of new drugs. The key is early detection. For those of you that do not have health insurance or cannot afford screening, there are low cost and no cost mammograms available. In our area, the MaryEllen Locher Breast Center has a mobile mammogram unit that services several counties in East Tennessee.
Today, I find joy in the simple things. I have found peace in my garden among the vegetables and flowers. My family is the most important thing in my life, they are a wonderful bunch of craziness, my biggest cheerleaders, and they bring me the most joy. I’m not a professional cook or gardener. I am not a homesteader. I am a southern city girl who was raised in the country in a simpler time.
I have learned every day is a gift, a gift that should not be taken lightly or taken for granted. I have learned kindness and grace are important attributes in living a full life. I have learned that how you make others feel is how you will be remembered.
Right before my diagnosis, Jay and I were talking about going to Italy and obviously, we had to put that on hold. So, in a few weeks, we will depart on a 5 Year Cancerversary celebratory trip to Italy and Greece for 14 days. We have been planning for this trip for the last two years. We booked it on my 3 Year Cancerversary date.
I have no idea what the next five years will look like. But for now, I will celebrate the days I have been given to the best of my ability and you should, too.
#keepingthefaith #gozastrong #getyourmammogram
