When was the last time you did something for the first time? When was the last time you really tested and stretched your comfort zone? The answer for me is very recently- two weeks ago.
I have been struggling with health issues related to chemo. In 2019, I was diagnosed with Stage 3b Triple Negative Breast Cancer. From there I opted for a double mastectomy followed by chemo and radiation. I am now 4+ years NED (no evidence of disease) and needless to say, I am very glad to be here and thankful and grateful for the life I have.
I, like many others, having lingering effects of chemo that will never reconcile, the most frustrating being short term memory loss, neuropathy and lymphedema. For the lymphedema, mine is mild and can be addressed with lymphatic massage at the moment. I am lucky in that respect and I know it. The neuropathy is the thorn in my side. I haven’t been able to feel below the knee in quite some time. Sometimes I fall and it is scary. I am constantly worried that in 5-10 years, I won’t even be able to walk without assistance. It started with my toes and continues to get worse with each year. And this year…the pain came. I have tried to endure it, but it is so hard. For the last few months, I have resorted to one pill a night for pain just so I can sleep.
I love my primary care physician, Dr. Sheikh, and he has talked to me about what to expect with the neuropathy and the next course as things worsen will be taking gabapentin. I know the gabapentin will only mask the pain and I would really like to heal, not just treat the symptoms. So I began some research and started on a journey of educating myself about possible ways to heal the neuropathy and that led me to acupuncture. With my medical history, I always consult my doctor first. And when I asked my doctor about it, he encouraged me to explore it and seemed excited I was open to the idea. He asked me to report back on my progress.
I will be the first to admit, I do not know much about eastern medicine. I also had a frightening childhood experience with needles at Dr. Appling’s office. As most children are, I was terrified of needles. On this particular day he sent the nurse in to draw blood. I made a fist, curled up in a tight ball and screamed and the nurse held me down and cut my big toe open to get the blood. Those nurses in the 70’s didn’t mess around. It’s funny now…not funny then.
The thought of something like acupuncture helping me really got me excited. I talked to my friend Michelle about it, she is a nurse practitioner, and she encouraged me by sharing a success story she knew about first hand. The bottom line was I didn’t have anything to lose.
The next step was finding someone. There are many letters after peoples names, and I did not have a clue what any of them meant. One night when I couldn’t sleep, I was googling acupuncturists and reading reviews and came across Yin Yang House in Chattanooga.
I was familiar with the business as they are one of the few places that offer lymphatic massage and I have used their services and were very pleased. Everyone there was always very professional and kind and it was very clean (I am a little OCD about cleanliness). I noticed they had added to their staff line-up and that is where I first read about Xiao Rice. She has many letters after her name and I still don’t know what they all mean, but in her biography on the website it mentioned she specializes in acupuncture for pain management and oncology supportive care and that got my attention. It also mentioned she grew up in China and was the daughter of an acupuncturist. And well, I just thought that was really cool. So right there, in the middle of the night, I made my first appointment online.
She was very upfront with me, we were going to try to wake up the nerves in my feet and legs. Sometimes the nerves react and sometimes they do not. She recommended we start with six treatments to see how I responded.
In hindsight, I have to tell you, I expected the needles to be in my feet and legs, so I was caught off guard when she began with my ear and head. After several needles were applied in and around my ear something very strange happened…I began to feel a tingle in the toes on my right foot. The right foot that I have not felt in 4 years. I was stunned and I am not easily stunned. She continued on…there were lots of needles, but they were so small, I could only feel a slight twitch occasionally- no pain.
After all the needles were inserted she placed an infrared light on my feet, turned out the overhead lights and instructed me to meditate and envision the energy going from my head to my toes and my hands. The meditation part is probably 20 minutes and there is some light mandarin music playing the in the background.
I would like to say this about meditation- I would have never attempted it on my on, the acupuncture forced me into it. I pride myself on multitasking and being efficient. Sitting in one place doing nothing just wasn’t my cup of tea. However after doing it several times now, I feel like we should all be doing it. And doing more of it. I think our bodies need it. I think our minds need it. I think our souls need it. There is so much stimulation around us, TVs, phones, etc., we need to quiet the noise and ground ourselves.
Xiao was very kind and professional and took a lot of time with me on my first appointment explaining everything. She gave me bags of Chinese herbs and suggested I soak my feet in warm water with the herbs every night.
So as of today, I have had three appointments and I can report tremendous success. Not only can I feel my toes, feet and legs, I have discontinued my nightly pain pill.
In full transparency, when I was researching neuropathy, I discovered my alcohol use was probably not helping the situation. I love wine, I love talking about wine, shopping for wine, blogging about wine, I love all the things surrounding wine. But I decided on this journey I was going to have put wine on the back shelf. Do I miss it? Hell, yes. Can I live without? Yes. Have I drank my last bottle? Probably not, but for now I have. My body is healing and I feel good. I don’t want to compromise that. I made that decision prior to my first visit but Xiao supported the decision and said I needed all my energy to go to healing the neuropathy, not healing from the alcohol. And that just made good sense.
I have no idea what the future holds for me. None of us do. I do know I am going to keep cooking and gardening, spending time with those I love most and living my best life- and making time for some much needed meditation. I am still going to acupuncture and as soon as I publish this blog I am going to make another appointment for a lymphatic massage. My life does look a little different than I had envisioned, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
And I am still educating myself on eastern practices as I find what I have experienced recently nothing short of fascinating. I am keeping my mind open and look forward to the road ahead.
