I was diagnosed in May 2019 with stage 3 triple negative breast cancer with 3 nodes involved. Because the growth rate on my cancer was so high, my treatment plan was as follows: surgery, chemo, radiation. I opted for a double mastectomy with no reconstruction. I completed all my treatments December 2019.
I’m still here. My metabolism has bottomed out, the weight gain is still hanging around, I have joint and leg swelling but I’m still here. I decided when this journey began that I wasn’t going anywhere. I have future grandchildren to love and a lot more living to do. So I am here. Living the best life I can and trying to help others along the way.
Follow my blog for some insights on my breast cancer journey. Below are random thoughts and a few items that may help someone with their journey.
Plan something. Pick a date in the future and plan something. A date to look forward to is a great goal to achieve. I planned a family beach trip to take place three months after my radiation ended. I looked forward to that trip through my entire treatment journey. I thought about the beach trip at every treatment.
Never underestimate the stupid things people can say. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me about someone they loved dying of cancer, I would have a sack full of money. It’s okay to ignore them and its okay to set someone straight every once in awhile. The frustration is bound to build up and its bound to come out occasionally.
Don’t get hung up on numbers. I read so many articles in the beginning trying to determine what my odds were for living. So here is the thing, no cancer is alike and no doctor can determine your exact odds. The bottom line is this: There is a 100% chance you are going to die at some time. It may be from cancer. Make sure you do everything you can to lessen the odds of that happening.
Hold on. It is a bumpy ride. Every time you get a new ache or pain, your mind automatically jumps to “its back and its spread”. Most people can have a random headache at times. Not us. We immediately think “it has spread to my brain”. This type of thinking can land you flat on your back, in bed, eating chocolate ice cream and crying for days. It’s okay. You aren’t alone.
Know your support group. Friends and family are important. Know who you can text at 2am and do it. I have also found wonderful FaceBook support groups for my specific type of cancer. Find your group. When I can’t sleep at night, I go to those pages and try to answer questions for people just diagnosed. It helps them. It helps me. There is nothing more courageous that those “coming out of the fire and returning to the fire to help save those being consumed”. I have spent many nights talking to women I don’t know. I still do this. It helps.
Surgical options are a personal thing. It is your decision. There is a large amount of research supporting the survival rates for lumpectomies are just as strong as mastectomies. Again, it is your decision. I personally had an overwhelming desire to remove anything on my body I didn’t absolutely need, and so a double mastectomy was my choice. I do not regret it. Because of my type of cancer and the growth rate, immediate reconstruction was not an option. Do I miss them-yes, but not terribly. I miss them in the summer during swimsuit season, I miss them because I know my husband loved them dearly even though he would never utter those words. But I also miss my size 10 body I enjoyed decades ago….
Tears for no reason. It happens. Terrible random thoughts come at inconvenient time. I remember sitting at a table with close friends recently and we were all talking, the wine was flowing and everyone was having a wonderful time. And then the thought came, “what if this is the last time we are ever together like this?”. Sometimes the thoughts are fleeting and some times they stay for a bit. “Is this my last Christmas?” “Will I make it to my birthday?”. My only advice is to open up about what you are feeling. Maybe not at that particular moment, but soon. Don’t bottle it up. There is no where for it to go.
Stay ahead of the nausea. If the chemo makes you sick at your stomach, call your doctor. There are so many drugs now to combat the nausea and vomiting. This is not something you have to endure. Take the medication. After treatment, take the nausea meds before you feel it coming on. I use to take them in the car on the way home. I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to take them again.. and again…and again. I took them for 72 hours straight whether I needed them or not. Stay ahead of the nausea. Once nausea sets in, it is almost impossible to get rid of it. This is an important lesson I learned with my first treatment.
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